On Dec 12, 5:05 pm, Banty <Banty_mem...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> In article
<fe61c503-b72c-4117-ad17-ffe9cc140...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>,
> Zipadee says...
>
> >[snip]
> >I don't go in there and pick them out. He says he needs jeans or
> >something, we go to the store, he picks out styles he likes, takes
> >in a few to try on, decides which ones fit, and I just pay. It doesn't
> >happen often - I think the last time was before he had his driver's
> >license so I had to drive him there. Next time he needs to go,
> >I finally can send him by himself. He's colorblind but that
> >doesn't matter when buying jeans or khakis.
>
> OK. But then, that much more puzzling as to why it's an inappropriate
gift.
> Wouldn't this be obvious as to what to do with the gift card? You're
saying
> you think it should be, um, speshul-er than clothing? Clothing is a
perfectly
> OK gift. He can trade it for cash with someone if he wants, too.
>
> Banty
If DS just used this gift card for clothing he needed, it would
replace
my buying him the clothing. In a sense, it would be more like a
gift for me! (So why am I objecting ...) I don't think ex has ever
taken DS clothes shopping except for the one time when he took
the kids on a vacation and DS forgot to pack socks and underwear
so the ex had to buy him some. I get the "traditional roles" bit;
I was always the one to take the kids clothing shopping, for haircuts,
etc.
Anyway, I gave DS the cash for the gift card and the
next time he needs new jeans or something, I'll send him to
that store. And I won't say anything to my ex or his fiancee.
I may make suggestions of things he might like at the
next gift-giving occasion which will be DS' birthday so it
won't be a time when any other kids are getting presents.
I'm trying to come up with an analogy. For example, suppose
someone (such as an employer) regularly provided something
you needed at their expense and someone else who knew this
gave you a gift card to buy those items. Wouldn't that seem
like a pointless gift? You could only use it to get things that
you normally got for free.
Have I beaten this point into the ground yet? :-)
-- Zip
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