On Dec 18, 3:09 am, vitalit...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
wrote:
> I'll try to keep this brief but would appreciate advice about where to
> go next.
>
> My partner has just left the family house after living with me and my
> two kids for 6 years. He has a problem with his temper and doesn't
> handle dealing with my 17 yr old daughter very well. She has been I
> suppose the usual stroppy teenager. It culminated in him losing his
> temper and attacking her physically (he came off worse than she did),
> and as a result he has left.
>
> When things had calmed down a bit I felt that really the problem was
> 50:50 between them. They have never really got on, she doesn't like
> being told what to do (by either of us) and he just tries to back me
> up.
>
> The problem is, he didn't want to leave, I didn't want him to go, but
> there was no other solution. Even my other child (13, boy) was upset
> to see him go. We are still in touch and trying to work things out.
> He has said he will get help with controlling his temper. I tried to
> talk to my daughter about reestabli****ng some relation****p with him,
> but she doesn't want to see or talk to him.
>
> I cannot see a solution to this problem where we could all be happy in
> some way. Any advice greatly appreciated.
My suggestion - Individual counseling for everyone involved, plus
joint counseling for you and your partner, plus joint counseling for
the family.
I didn't force the counseling issue early on; but I should have. When
I did finally insist on it, my husband only went long enough to get me
to move back home. Everyone going has to buy into getting healthy.
Otherwise, those determined to get healthy are going to have to decide
how to work their lives around those who refuse.
Kitten
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