All I can say is good luck - it is the hardest thing I have ever done.
"Vicki Robinson" <vjrnts@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:fjkbg1$cjm$1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> In a previous article, Dave <fzipplemier@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> said:
>
>>I'm currently in my mid 40's and have recently started seeing a woman
>>with two children: a girl aged 10 and a boy aged 13. I have never had
>>kids nor have I been involved with a woman who has had children so
>>this is new territory for me.
>>My question to the group is if there is
>>anyone out there who has entered into a similar situation and can give
>>share their experiences and give some advice on what kinds of things
>>I'll likely run into and perhaps some suggestions on dealing with or
>>preparing for, these situations. If you have any good books to
>>suggest I would appreciate it.
>
> An absolutely crucial part of your answer depends on your girlfriend's
> attitude. Huge. Does she expect you to act as a father? If so, will
she
> allow you to discipline (which does not mean "punish," but "guide and
> educate"
> if it's done right)? If she disagrees with your handling of a
situation,
> will
> she contradict you right there and then in front of the kids, or will
she
> pull
> you aside privately and say "I'd prefer that we don't ground her for the
> next
> 6 weeks; that means we always have to be here with her. Let's make it
two
> weeks and no TV." and then present the change to the child as a united
> team?
>
> How present is the biological dad? If the kids' dad is in the picture,
> then
> you *can't* act as a dad, but you can still expect to be seen as a
> respected
> adult authority figure in the house. Is the biodad going to give the
kids
> grief about building a relation****p with you? Is that going to make you
> nuts?
> Is it going to make your girlfriend nuts?
>
> We have *all* been in a similar situation in one position or another.
You
> and
> she have to sit down and hammer out the ways you will interact with the
> kids.
> Whatever you decide, it's necessary that you work together.
>
> Vicki
> --
> "We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day, the
> plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and
> the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
> H.L. Mencken, July 26, 1920
|
