Re: Using Ferber method in everyday life

no.email@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
 wrote:
> I am a new SAH mom and need advice.  I finally have a baby after many
> years of miscarriage.  This baby is the love of my life.  In the eyes
> of my mom and friends, I have 'spoiled' the baby because I never let
> him cry.  He just seems like a very happy, calm baby 24/7.
> 
> Due to a family crisis - I can no longer lavish my baby with as much
> time and attention as he is accustomed.
> 
> He is almost 5 months old.

First: you are in no way spoiling your baby. In this phase an infant
learns that an adult is always there for him, to provide what he needs
when he needs it. This makes it possible to develop into a trusting
and independent individual later in life. His crying is meant to get
your attention, and your body responds to it, forcing you to go and
give him what he asks for. There is a reason it works that way, and
IME it is better to give in than fight it.

A baby cries for a reason, which can be basic things like food or
a diaper change, but also just for a cuddle and some attention. He
doesn't understand that when you leave the room, you are still existing.
For him, you are wiped of the face of the earth when you are out of
sight. Imagine that feeling.

My suggestion is: buy a sling or bellycarrier to carry him along. I
carried DS literally everywhere and he could sleep or just play with
his hands all the while, and I would always be near when he needed
me. Some people may find this strange, but you can do whatever you
need to while carrying him. If you are breastfeeding, you can even
do that while he is in the sling, whithout others noticing.

-- 
-- I
mommy to DS (15m)
guardian of DH (32)
EDD 05/17/2004
War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left